During Service

It is now our third visit and we are starting to get to know and understand our refugee family on a higher level. Throughout these first three visits I have observed how the father sits in the "talking-seat" while the mother sits silently during our conversations. I believe this type of behavior deals with the values and norms of the Arabic culture, where the father has all the power in the family. Along with this, the mother not only sat silent but I could sense a feeling of unhappiness and hostility that had something else to do with other than the Arabic's values/norms. This led me to believe she is in cultural shock. For the father it was more difficult to tell what stage he could be in. However, I was astounded by his intelligence. Back in Iraq he was a wealthy engineer, but it has now been two months since they have been in America and he is still unemployed. Because he searches for jobs on his own, speaks pretty good english, and is an intelligent man, it was difficult for us to think of activities we could do with them since we did not want to offend him. This is where orientation of knowledge came into play along with some other BASIC's of Intercultural Competence. Interaction management, and task role behavior also stood out for me as I attempted to achieve intercultural competence during this specific visit. After helping the mother with her English homework and playing Legos with the son, we continued to converse with the father, which involved interaction management for me. Along with this, he was looking to buy a GPS because they are going on a road trip to Ohio to visit friends. We told him what brands we recommended and helped him research it. This dealt with task-role behavior. Going off of this conversation, I could tell how eager they were to see life outside of Moline.They talk a lot about how they do not like it here since they are from a big city with which I've assumed a much wealthier, larger home. I am excited for their journey to Ohio and interested to see what their next step to a happier lifestyle here in the United States will be.

Values: involve what a culture regards as good or bad, right or wrong, fair or unfair, just or unjust, beautiful or ugly, clean or dirty, valuable or worthless, appropriate or inappropriate, and kind or cruel. Cultural values stood out to me in this visit and the past two when the father sat and talked as the head of the family. It showed that the Arabic culture values the man of the family to be of most power which is what they consider "right" and "appropriate."
Norms: are the socially shared expectations of appropriate behavior. As discussed in values, the norm for Arabic culture or the appropriate behavior is the man of the house speaking for the family, which I have observed very much over the course of the last three weeks with our family.
Cultural Shock: is a typical reaction to time spent in a different culture. It shows frustration while trying to navigate through day-to-day activities in an unfamiliar setting. Because the mother constantly has a look of distress and unhappiness on her face, I am beginning to believe she is in this stage since it has now been about two months in a new culture.
BASIC's of intercultural competence: what you actually do rather than internalized attitudes of what you might do. There are three out of six of these in which stood out to me in this visit.
Orientation of knowledge is to recognize that other's experiences shape what they know. I was able to display this behavior noticing that the father has a very intelligent background in which shapes everything he knows about finding a job here in America. Luckily, I was able to recognize this so I did not belittle him, since he knows much more about America than I had previously assumed.
Interaction Management is skill in regulating conversation and taking turns. As a group we were all able to successfully achieve this, since all of our visits so far mainly consist of conversing. We would ask questions and let the father answer them and then build the conversation off of that and vice versa.
Task Role Behavior is behaviors involving group problem solving. I experienced this during the visit when the father asked us about which GPS he should purchase. As a group, Carly, John, and I took what knowledge we had on the topic and helped him research it in order to solve the problem of which brand works the best and is most reasonable. Our final consensus was to buy a SONY GPS system.

From this visit and the two before, I have learned more and more ways to communicate appropriately with the Al Quays. I have also recognized their level of knowledge towards our culture and I am starting to broaden my knowledge of theirs. This will be applied in the future to create more intense and descriptive conversations with the family in order to form a better relationship with them.